How about I start with the good news first: I heard back from a freelancing job that I’ve recently applied for. It’s looking promising The client sent me a couple things in the e-mail and he’ll be getting back to me on an assignment in the next couple days. This would be my first big assignment, so I’m starting to get a bit pumped.

On the downside, my training isn’t going as well as I would like. When I recently got back into training, I was under the impression that if I practiced enough, I’d be able to do anything. It’s all muscle memory, right?

No. No, it’s not. I’m not invincible – Hell, I’m not even up to par with my peers. Bits and pieces of me go numb. I’m significantly weaker than my peers and when I leave class, I sit down at home without being able to get up for another half-hour.

I have never had to come to the realization that there are some things that I physically can’t do – that I can never do. My father complains of his old age in much the same way and every little piece of me screams, “I’m too young for this!”

So what’s the moral of my story? Pil Sung is more than winning in the ring or coming to class, even when you don’t feel like it. Pil Sung is a constant mental and physical struggle to be the best martial artist that you can be. I need to be able to conquer my attitude – If I can’t say, “I can do that”, the least I’ll be able to say is “I can try”. I think one day I’ll surprise myself.

Yoda has his “do or do not”, but I disagree. A person gains something by trying, especially those of us who really CAN’T do certain things. That applies to everyone: go apply for an impossible job, learn that language you’ve dreamed about, or try a difficult hobby. In the meantime, I’m going to go off and conquer this “I can’t” mentality, as I continue my battle with Pil Sung.