As I woke from my prescription drug-induced therapy today, I realized that I had forgotten the meaning of “Pil Sung” – a seemingly simple Korean word used as a tenant in Tae Kwon Do, meaning “certain victory”. I don’t know when or where I lost it, but I know that right now I’m not in a Pil Sung-ish mood.

This past semester has been nothing but a health nightmare, recently culminating in a severe neck ailment that seems to have been brought on by stress. I’ve allowed myself to be beaten down by homework and never took the time to get myself well. I never got back up onto the proverbial horse and where has that left me? An eternal red belt, with unfulfilled dreams of receiving my black belt. Apparently, I can’t have Pil Sung over myself…

Pil Sung has always been an important tenant to me. It’s more than just jumping into the ring and kicking the crap out of your opponent or victoriously earning a promotion. Pil Sung is a way of life, it rests in every student’s heart. The confidence in Pil Sung keeps us fighting the good fight every day, it reminds us of our life goals and morals. Most importantly, Pil Sung allows us to remember that any obstacles that we encounter don’t spell the end.

Pil Sung works on a very personal level for me as well: I had to fight tooth and nail for my red belt. Actually, I worked up to a black belt, only to find out that my “master” was a rebellious student on a mission to buck the system and instill his religion into training. My black belt had to be demoted to red, with the aims that I could train up to the level of a real black belt. My former instructor tried my patience (it’s a long story for another day), and yet, I grit my teeth to finish what I began. Pil Sung.

Now, years later and in another (more hard-core) school, I can’t remember the last time I trained. I’ve not only lost my physical fighting ability, but I no longer have the determination I had when I was younger. …This is ridiculous.

As of today, I’m climbing back up on my horse. It’s my mission to get back into shape, to train like a proper Tae Kwon Do student should, and in the end, to find Pil Sung.