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“I’m 62 years old, Matthew!” John bellowed at his son. “I have more experience than you, but if you want to be an ass about it, then….FINE!”
Matthew bit the inside of his cheek to keep the evil words from spilling out. “But Dad,” his voice soft, soothing, “I’ve done a lot of research in the field of music. I’m not calling you ignorant, but it’s a world away from truck driving.”
“Work is work, which is something you know zero about!” John slammed a couple doors as he stomped into the garage.
Matthew took a couple deep, calming breaths, and opened his e-mail. A grin broke across his face as he read the two words he was told he’d never see: “You’re hired!”
Discussion
Our friend Matt is in a difficult spot, but it’s John who has the real problem: humility. American children have a special brand of respect pounded into them – “Respect your elders, because they’re older.” American children become American elders, and some of them demand respect based solely on their age.
Unfortunately, they missed the boat on the whole respect thing. We don’t respect people for being old, we respect them for spending their lives pursuing wisdom. I know John personally and I can say for a fact that he’s never been humble – he’s always known more than his stupid bosses, and has been using that age excuse for years. I can also tell you (on the down-low) that he’s also not humble enough to get hired by himself.
Now John’s 62 years old, but still has the wisdom of a 12 year old. He’s spent his life in ignorance and will die a fool.
Application
How do you treat those around you? For those of you who may have older kids, do you browbeat them or listen to their opinions? I hate to say this, but your 19 year old is a clever adult now and knows that you don’t know everything.
And for the younger crowd, do you find yourself saying “you just don’t get me” to your elders? Believe it or not, your elders were once your age too and hopefully, they humbled themselves to recieve wisdom. They may not “get” you 100%, but I can guarantee that they’re not telling you things to hear themselves talk.
Meditation
All ages groups should take a step back and listen. Don’t try to assert your wisdom or knowledge – simply share opinions without attacking the opposite party. Spend the rest of the month trying to apply the nuggets of wisdom you receive from both your elders and those younger than you. The universe may be trying to speak to you, but you’ll never hear it when you’re not listening.
Share your thoughts
The subject of humility tends to strike a nerve – it may go against ones parenting philosophy or perhaps even religious thoughts (though I don’t know this for a fact). How do you reconcile humility with your beliefs? Do you believe in showing humility to all, or does this make one weak? I’m interested in your opinions, so please share!
De-romanticizing Paris
My little sister and I munched our baguettes happily, while we rested our feet in the Trocadero Gardens in Paris. The sun was beginning to set behind the Eiffel Tower – once the sky turns black, the Tower lights up and we had perfect seats to watch the show.
Tourists were taking pictures and we were all asking each other to shoot group pictures. A couple of large (and handsome) French men approached my sister and I, wondering if we would take their picture in front of the Eiffel Tower. We took the picture, but then they wanted pictures of us. This request wasn’t terrible unusual for us, so we agreed. Bad move.
The men thanked us, sat about 8 feet away from us in the Gardens and started reviewing the pictures on their camera. They looked up at us every now and again, but after a while, it started feeling like staring. “Act naturally,” I instructed my sister. “We’re going to get up and stroll away.”
Minutes later, two very large French men were sprinting after us as we booked it through the Gardens. Determined to catch their prey, they tracked us through the crowds of people under the Tower to a group of Americans who became our new best friends. We asked for protection; they gave us security and wine. Unfortunately, the public bathrooms close fairly early in Paris and booze has a tendency to go straight through a person. So, as I watched the Eiffel Tower glow bright blue against the night sky, I pulled down my pants and pissed in an isolated bush.
Moral #1: Always be on your guard
Paris, the romance capital of the world, is not immune to creepers. As a martial artist, I should have been well aware to the fact that Paris is a big city and tourist attraction. And where there are tourists, there are unwatched wallets. Bad call on my part.
Moral #2: Fighting is not always the appropriate response
Though this is a blog about how to better kick ass, you’ll notice that I never once considered fighting in my story. That’s because fighting, in this scenario, would have been a terrible idea. You’ll find out why later.
I went through a couple of thought processes during this ordeal. I had to analyze how much (if any) danger I was in, decide whether or not to fight, and what my next course of action should be. Part of knowing how to fight is knowing when to fight.
Fight or Flight?
How do you know when you’re in danger?
1. Do I look vulnerable? People who mean to cause you harm are looking for a couple tell-tale signs that you’ll make for the perfect victim:
- looking out of place, lost, or foreign
- hands are full, mobility is compromised (as in, wearing a heavy knapsack)
- not totally aware of surroundings
- put off one’s guard (smiling at a con-artist who just called you beautiful/handsome)
- easily overpowered
2. What are the circumstances? In my case, the sun was setting. My traveling party consisted of me and my little sister, we’re flagrantly American and don’t speak a word of French. Did I mention that there was no place to hide? Oh right, and the men snapped a picture of us.
3. Intuition: Normally, the above circumstances wouldn’t immediately spell disaster. I’ve traveled through Europe without a problem, take sunset strolls, and speak any language I like. Hell, I’ve even snapped pictures with strange men while on vacation. The clincher was that hot feeling at the base of my neck that screamed “danger”.
If I’m a decent martial artist, why shouldn’t I fight?
As martial artists, we need to have the wisdom to know when to fight and when to run for our lives. We’re not video games, people – this is real life. Someone shoots, you die. End of story. It’s important for us to learn a little discretion before we start hitting everything that moves.
1. Consider the odds: I’m a short, light woman against two 6-foot tall linebackers. I’m probably not going to win.
2. Local laws: I know that in the states, it’s easier for a woman to defend herself without getting arrested, especially if she was attacked by a burly man. I’m not really sure how it works in France, but I can say one thing: I’ve seen The Count of Monte Cristo and I do not want to be stuck in French prison.
3. Consider who’s along: I know that I can defend myself against 1 guy, but I’m sure that my little sister would get slaughtered trying. What would happen if I chose to fight, got blindsided, and my helpless sister was harmed in the process? I would never forgive myself.
Alternatives to Fighting
1. Run! First try to get out of the situation without drawing attention to yourself. If that doesn’t work, pick up the pace and zigzag through a crowd.
2. Scream as loudly as possible. Screaming serves two purposes: it alerts passers-by that you’re in danger and it stuns the attacker(s). Once their concentration is broken, it’ll be easier to escape.
3. Find a group: Just as you evaluated your odds against fighting, the attackers will also do the math. Once the two of them run up against 5 bigger guys, they’ll likely find an easier target.
I’ve had some big plans for this blog, but have recently thrown them to the wind for a couple weeks (well, 4 weeks). As I write this, I’m sitting at a computer in Germany, thousands of miles from home 
Once I’m back, I’ll be back to posting, with an end goal of turning this into a regular thing.
Thanks for understanding the growing pains of my new blog!
So here’s the thing: I was going to have a little Friday martial arts philosophy – you know, going the whole mind, soul and body route. Turns out, I feel like a mega-copycat, because Brett does roughly the same things on Fridays. Now I feel like a dufus >.< I still want to do something relating to the martial arts, so I’m going to retool this for Sundays.
Sunday Meditations: “That is why you fail”
After including Yoda quotes in my last post, I started thinking about the martial arts undertones to many of Yoda’s speeches. A friend of mine really likes a certain quote and I believe that it applies both to training and our daily lives:
Luke: I don’t believe it
Yoda: That is why you fail
After throwing a half-hearted go at raising his X-wing out of a Dagobah sinkhole, Skywalker gave up and pouted against a tree stump. “You ask the impossible,” he whined. Yoda, watching from a distance, shook his head: when would Skywalker finally humble himself to Yoda’s wisdom? Yoda visualized the X-wing floating out of the swamp, felt the Force running through him and pulled the X-wing to solid ground. Luke stood and stared: “I don’t believe it.” Yoda reproached him: “That is why you fail.”
Skywalker’s main problem was that he was acting in what he believed was a realitic manner. It’s similar to how I want 1 million dollars, a Macbook Pro, and a car that runs – They would be nice to have, but I’m not putting all my eggs in that basket. I really can’t count on magically receiving millions of dollars. Realistically, I’m going to be living in a small ranch-style house, typing on a homebrew Frankenstein computer and…still driving my 1987 Mercedes. When I realize that having 1 million dollars is impossible, I can move on with my life and achieve something more “realistic”.
I’m sure that Skywalker thought that getting his X-Wing back would be pretty groovy, too. But again, by not having his eggs in such a fragile basket, he was able to try to think of a more “realistic” solution.
Application
Think of your very first dream – you know, the one where you were going to be an astronaut, a dancer or even a Jedi (c’mon – admit it!). What response did you get from the older, more experienced people? Probably something along the lines of “get real”.
And for the martial artists: what’s your craziest dream? Do you want to own at a competition, perhaps compete in the Olympics?
Please don’t sabotage yourselves by being “realistic”. You may feel that going to the Olympics is unrealistic, but remember: Skywalker believed that levitating an X-wing out of a swamp was impossible and Yoda pulled the ship out with ease. Yoda even chastised Luke for trying to be realistic and at one point needed to tell him to “unlearn what [he has] learned”.
Meditations
Your meditation for this week is to do as Yoda recommends and unlearn what you have learned about being realistic with your goals. Stop making judgments as to a task’s realism value and start working toward a crazy dream.
In part 1 of why can’t I gain belt rank, we looked at improving memory and endurance in anticipation of your next testing. In this final installment, I’ll review two more problems I see in students testing for rank.
Health
As I sip my eightieth cup of coffee for the day whilst munching on a chocolate chip bagel with cream cheese, I am reminded that no one is perfect in maintaining health. Even so, we still need to make the best go of it – poor health will affect everything from athletic performance to emotional stability. Health seems to be a difficult problem to spot. When we feel sluggish or uneasy, we ignore it as a symptom of stress and if the problem goes on long enough, these feelings become normal for us. If you don’t feel quite right, it’s time to mind your health.
Disclaimer: if you’re having health problems, please consult your physician. I give tips – not medical diagnoses.
Health tips
- Just say “no”
Step 1 is to take a look at the obvious: drinking, smoking, and non-prescription drugs. Sure, we all need to unwind after a day of hard work and when we joined Taekwondo, we didn’t intend to live like monks. The problem is that alcohol dehydrates a person and smoking reduces lung capacity. If you must do these things however, keep it to a bare minimum. Drinking, smoking and drugs all reduce your ability to perform, so you make a huge sacrifice by partaking in these substances.
- Got water?
Hydrate! I notice that when I’m sluggish, it’s usually because I’ve had about 300 cups of coffee and neglected to follow up with water. Proper hydration means 8 glasses of water (at 8 oz each) – more if you’re a caffeine addict or if you work-out. That means the bare minimum of the day is 64 oz, so bust out your Mason jars and get drinking!
- Wax is not a delicious treat
Start cutting processed foods out of your diet and start eating natural foods. Put away that macaroni and cheese – that shade of orange is freakish in a food, anyway. Long story short, by eating a good number of processed foods, you’re eating wax. Unless you’re into munching on crayons, please do yourself a favor and eat some fresh fruits and veggies.
- “…and I’m going to be high as a kite by then”
One of the reasons why I love my coffee is because it’s a legal “upper” (a.k.a.: stimulant). My brain gets a jumpstart in the mornings when I caffeinate and an upper puts you in a good mood. I like to joke about my coffee intake, but really I’ve limited it to a cup in the morning and another in the afternoon (like a proper German). This way, I never have a mid-morning crash.
Caffeine is only one of many discreetly addictive stimulants. Sugar and chocolate fall into that category as well, threatening to crash you after a couple hours. “Energy drinks”, therefore, are death in a can. But I digress. The main issue with these stimulants is that they spike your blood sugar for a little while, and then drop you on your arse. That’s the reason why you want to nap a couple of hours after a big helping of chocolate chip pancakes. Try your best to avoid food highs – the higher you get off food, the harder you fall.
Attitude
Once upon a time, a hot-shot student focused on performance. He kicked the highest, threw the hardest and never missed his mark. Boards exploded beneath his might. He probably lifted weights in his free time, just to be the strongest. Unfortunately, he was well aware of his prowess and wanted everyone else to be equally aware. In training exercises, he hit his partner extra hard, then chastised him for not having the strength of a warrior. He showed no mercy with the young women, expecting a woman to throw all 120 lbs of herself into a punch equal to his own and the ladies frequently left with bruises – both on their bodies and attitudes.
What came of this guy? He was eventually booted from the school. No questions asked. If Taekwondo was only about performance, this fellow would have been top of the class. Fortunately, your instructors are looking to foster good attitude. If your performance isn’t lacking in the least, you’re probably being held back by your attitude.
Attitude Tips (quotes courtesy of Yoda)
- “Size matters not”
When I was a young blue belt, I was charged with instructing the new white belts in basic stances. One of my students was a good 30 years older than me and a good couple feet taller. I’m not going to lie: I’m a tiny woman. I heard scoffs and I was often corrected by fellows such as him who thought that size, age or gender mattered in the dojang. Yet, I could still push this man over when his stances were poor. In fact, I can throw a man 3x my size and hold him against the floor indefinitely.
Moral of the story: don’t judge your teachers based on size, gender or age. If you find yourself scoffing at a high belt who’s younger or smaller than you, your attitude needs adujusting. They earned the belt and can likely school you if they tried.
- “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter”
While we don’t use the Force in the dojang, it’s important to remember that muscle isn’t everything. Lift weights all you like, but strength will never overpower good technique. Humble yourself to mastering the basics. If you cop a ‘tude about your strength, it will likely lead to a bullying attitude.
- “Anger, fear, aggression: the dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny”
When we study the martial arts, we’re given a special force that no one else has: the force to be able to defend ourselves from powerful attacks. We’re also given a choice, much like Darth Vader was given: use the power for defense or use it to cause severe harm. When Vader chose to give into feelings of anger and aggression, Obi-wan couldn’t instruct him further.
Our martial arts instructors know full well the powers of the real-life version of the Dark Side. When we strike an opponent out of anger, we have the intent on hurting her/him. Our instructors will not provide us with ways to more effectively hurt our classmates. If you find yourself lashing out out of anger, fear or downright aggression, please get to the root of the problem before you severely injure your friends. You will not be promoted if your instructors see a hint of Vader in your attitude.
Wrap-up
When you’re frustrated with your ranking, you need to take a look at your memory, endurance, health and attitude. We all have room to improve in all areas, so as long as you focus on some good-natured self-improvement, you’ll eventually achieve the next rank.
Hello all and sorry for the hiatus. I’m finished with school until fall, settled into my summer job and new living environment and finally able to bust out the writing paraphernalia.
This two-part post was inspired by a search term used to find my blog: “why can’t I get my green belt”. When we’re white belts, the entire world seems open to us. Testing comes easily, we gain a little rank, and become excited that we’re no longer at the bottom of the dojang food chain. Unfortunately, we don’t realize that Taekwondo is a commitment and a lifestyle. We can no longer effortlessly sail through class and are left wondering as to what is required of us.
I’ve attended many testings (including my own) and saw a pattern in the problems students face. While I’ll provide you with some useful tips, remember that your best resource is you master or high belts.
Why can’t I gain belt rank?
Memory
One of our biggest downfalls during a test can be our memory. We could speed-break with acrobatic kicks, but as soon as we’re asked Korean terms, our brains fall right out. As we stutter in front of our master, we feel our ship slowly sinking. If a person fails completely in one category, that’s it – no belt for you! A memory blank could spell huge disaster.
Don’t kid yourself about the importance of memory. Each belt has their own specific set of things to know (be sure to carefully check the list!), but here’s a sample of what we generally need to know:
- counting and/or numbers in Korean
- telling someone to bow, stand at attention…etc.
- recite the meanings of the Korean and American flags
- instinct 1-step, combos, and escapes
- philosophy
- meaning of belt color and form (the form is more for the ITF people)
- for example, what does “chon-ji” mean?
Now this is just a small sample of what we need to know. Sound intimidating? Not really – here are a couple tips.
Memory Tips
- terms
- I look up all my terms, complete with the English phonetic spellings. I write them in large marker on a sheet of paper and stick that paper on a conspicuous surface (bedroom wall or refrigerator). Every time I pass it, I recite the words and English meanings – the repetition makes sure that all the words stick in my head.
- forms
- Practice all your forms every day! They should be immaculate and second nature – there’s no cramming for forms!
- the rest
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help before or after class. Learn 1-2 techniques at a time, then practice them at home. Come to class early if you have some techniques that require another person’s help. Continue practicing older and new techniques, and you’ll add to your knowledge base quickly!
Endurance
We could all stand to have better endurance. In fact, a lack of endurance almost compromised my last testing! Your master tests not only practical knowledge, but your ability to represent your desired rank. For example, would you trust a black belt who couldn’t make it through 1 round of sparring? If you’re tired out during warm-up, you may need to improve your endurance before your next testing.
Endurance Tips
- Some of the best advice I’ve gotten is “go until you can’t go anymore…then push yourself to do another five minutes”. If you’re looking to build endurance, you can’t grow unless you push past your comfort zone. Obviously, don’t put yourself in danger, but give yourself a gentle push.
- During your testing, don’t spend all your energy in the warm-up jog. If your endurance is poor to begin with, don’t be a hero.
- Put in some time outside of class. Running is a great way to build endurance and teaches athletes the importance of breathing.
- BREATHE! Oddly enough, students have a tendency to hold their breath, especially during forms. Your breathing should be natural.
Memory and endurance are two big bears you’ll need to tackle in preparation to be the best martial artist you can be. In part 2 of “Why can’t I gain belt rank”, we’ll explore a couple other reasons why some students don’t achieve their next rank.
First thing: I’d like to give a big shout-out to Brett over at 6 weeks for inspiring me to get off my lazy butt. Go here to check out this inspirational post!
The dream
Ever since I was a white belt first learning how to NOT fall over in horse stance, I’ve loved Taekwondo. I fell in love from the beginning and since then, I’ve dreamed of progressing. I remember seeing the blue belts and thinking that they were pretty 1337 (“leet” – I’m a computer geek, so what? 
). I got my blue belt and started looking toward grasping the holy grail: black belt. Here’s a secret: I got it! I used to be a black belt!
Here’s the thing: my “master” wasn’t registered with any federation (turns out, he thought it was anti-Christian) and I was stripped of my belt by the real martial artists. To keep my black belt wouldn’t have been fair to the other black belts, so I respect the decision 100%. Since then, I’ve not only dreamed of becoming a black belt, I’ve dreamed of finally proving myself to the martial arts community.
The goals
Within the next year, I plan on finally getting my balck belt. I’m ONE step away, but I have a whole lot of training until I get there. I’ll also continue participating in tournaments until I’m considered to be tough competition. I want to be able to distinguish myself in a male dominated sport.
On the smaller scale, I have plans on losing my last couple pounds (I’m so close to my goal weight – yay me!!) and improving my endurance, so that I can fight at a good pace for more than a minute without having breathing difficulties. Because man, that’s an embarrassment in the dojang.
Today
As silly as this may sound, today I’m going for a run. Here’s the thing: I don’t run voluntarily. I crap out after about 2 minutes. It’s hard, monotonous, and I feel like crap afterward. Well too damned bad! I’m sucking it up and I’m going to learn how to make running work for me! Pil-sung!
Okay all, I’m really sorry about the lack-luster blog these days, but the post-spring break workload has gotten me down. Not to worry, though – I still have my posts slated up. Up next is a piece on how to earn your next belt. I’m also planning 3-part posting on my experience with false masters and how to deal with them.
On a more personal note, I’ve recently competed in my first tournament and came away with a trophy in sparring! The rest of the team was amazing, so I’m excited to see what they do in our next competition.
I’m sorry that I’ve been letting this blog stagnate over the past couple of weeks, but I’ve been so crazily busy. Don’t worry, though – it’s a good thing. I was preparing for my belt test, took the test and passed! The test kicked my ass, but I’m now a black stripe
I’ve had a couple of posts in the works, so hopefully I’ll be able to get a couple things up. I do have mid-terms coming up, followed by spring break, so we’ll see what I can do. If I’m not commenting on any of your blogs sometime in the next 2 weeks, it’ll be due to lack of an internet connection/being out of the country. Sorry!
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